So, it stands to reason that Hideki Kamiya (the father of Devil May Cry) saw what Capcom did with Devil May Cry 4 (or any of them since the original, if you think about it) and decided he knew what was best for that style of game. Lots of people have tried to "fix" dmc before. More weapons, higher combo counts, bigger monsters, you name it. Bayonetta, at first glance anyway, matches all those bets and raises them one gigantic dose of sex appeal.
You see, in the few hours I've had with the game I have pummelled scores of enemies with fists and feet, blasted them apart with pistols and shotguns (somehow) attached to my appendages and even summoned gigantic hair-dog demons to do my bidding but despite the spectacle of it all, it all feels very secondary to the sexy. Cinematically she subdues enemies with leg locked face rides, boob grazes, and spread eagle gunshots, then in gameplay she gets more naked with each combo hit, the final blow often delivered entirely in the nude. She switches her heels with every flick of the analog stick, blows seductive kisses at magical barriers, and kicks her foes right in the balls before strapping them into gigantic iron maidens and guillotines. And that's just within the first three missions.
I'm not some catholic prude or asexual misanthrope who will never know a woman's touch. I've long awaited the day my many perversions and my long term hobby would join forces against the boredom monster (See: Onechanbara), but Bayonetta just goes about it all wrong. Its one thing to just slap an unrealistic set of assets on your heroine (every female lead since Lara Croft), or throw misguided innuendo into an otherwise unrelated affair (GoW, GTA), or even try to pass off a shoddy half developed game as a sexual experience (rrxx, doax), those things are fairly typical these days. Yet no matter how good I feel about tearing bosses in two, finding well hidden secrets, and unleashing new combo strats in Bayonetta, I have to roll my eyes while she strokes her guns across her face, or makes some glib remark about enemies wanting to touch her.
Maybe this would work a lot better if Bayonetta herself didn't look so unattractively ridiculous, even better if there was a plot / premise reason to her acting like a hardass one second and a hoebag the next. Like, if there's a flashback coming up that just says she had to spend the dark ages casting spells on gentlemen in whorehouses, or that being sexy somehow gives her power I'll be fine, but she's decended from a coven of witches who dressed in nothing but habits and hung out in hidden temples. Every other character in the game is conservative and straight laced (to a point), even her evil twin rival sister whatever character (who happens to be a tall leggy blonde), so why is Bayonetta all throwing off her clothes and firing guns between her legs all the time? Is it because she's the ugly sister? Did daddy like her best? So frustrating.
Still, I can't argue gameplay wise that its a perfectly valid member of the DMC wannabe family and its clear Kamiya has a better understanding of it's genetic make up than most. Last night I unlocked a totally unexpected katana to bolster the already over-abundant array of killing techniques, and with all the question marks and things left to kill, it seems like the game is just chock full of content. I just wish I didn't have to wade through so much ineffective sexuality to get to it.
-F.
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