Monday, November 15, 2010

Dont Hate Black Ops because Treyarch made it

Hate TreyArch for making BlackOps. I haven't even finished the campaign , mostly because the camera shakes like you're playing the role of Michael J Fox and the story couldn't be less interesting. I actually cared about Soap, Ghost, and Roach and what happened to them.... it shows because I can remember their names and I haven't played MW2 since January of this year and I finished the story mode in December of last year. I played CoD:BO last night and cant remember my guy's name. MW1 and MW2 both had a really nice flow to the story, Black Ops is just a series of flashbacks and a buncha flashing numbers on the screen.

Enough harping on the campaign mode, COD is supposed to be all about the online. The only thing worse then the campaign IS the multiplayer. Now I'm not going to pretend that I'm the best or even really good at FPS games, because I'm not. As bad/good as I am I actually had FUN playing MW2 online. Again, I'm not gonna gush on MW2's multiplayer, it was not without its faults but I never had worry about turning the corner and getting killed by a damn remote controlled car! How bad is it? This game is single handedly ruining my childhood memories of playing RC Pro-Am on my NES. I'd rather be tactically nuked.

I was in mid post with this when Tru Fenix and I were discussing, and Im not entirely sure I could have stated what I think about the game any better then this (and he didnt even have to play it!)

"no see, thats all activisions genius plan idiots will buy it as long as it sas CoD on it
so while they wait for IW to make a good game, they have treyarch fill in the blanks with whatever bullshit they can so now we have JFK and Castro killing zombies playing L4D in the whitehouse despite the fact it has dick to do with anything else at all....and dont forget the fact they pretty much fired IW"
~TruFenix

I personally am hoping to rush through the campaign so I can trade it back in for $20 and get a good game, like Fall Out: New Vegas. I can only hope that when I pick up Assassin's Creed:Brotherhood tomorrow it'll help me wash the taste of BO out of my mouth /pun

PS:Also, you're an idiot with too much money if you bothered spending the extra $90 for the hardened Edition

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Random gaming thoughts (11910)

New Vegas - Continues to impress. Stumbled upon a tangentical link to Fallout 2 last night that gave me warm fuzzy feelings inside.

Minecraft - I'd like to know what the fuss is all about, I really would. But paying 10 dollars for an alpha product with no release date and no clear direction can go to hell. Seriously. If an indy wants to put up a donation box for me to slip'm a few dollars after their half baked cookies impress me, fine. But don't charge me an entry fee to enter an amusement park thats just blue prints and steel girders.

Darksiders 2 - Just read this; http://www.joystiq.com/2010/11/08/darksiders-2-will-star-new-character-take-place-alongside-event/ which goes a long way towards reminding me THQ has never had a clear idea what they are doing. Could it be an awesome game? Sure, but wasting the opportunity to bring the four horsemen of the apocalypse together for an action adventure orgy in favor of squeezing a few more dollars out of the same engine is just a traveshamockery.

Oh Raziel and Kain, where are you when we need you?

Monday, November 8, 2010

Welcome to 9 months ago.

Its it still February? No? Well it will be in 3 months! Where was I going with this? I don't know either. Oh yeah, that's right, I finally picked up Dante's Inferno.

I finally broke down and went into my local Gamestop and picked it up. I can admit its totally created in the vein of God Of War. Rip off? No, not really. Noting to do with Greeks, doesn't use swords on chains, heck the main guy isnt even bald or painted up. Kratos would be more bad ass if he stitched that red area into his skin with a needle in thread though. The gameplay is very similar and there's quick time events, thankfully not as many and they aren't as long. I started to hate the "demondoors" about an hour in, and 5 hours later I despise them.

Honestly, I'm kinda flying through it on normal and odds are I'm going to take it back before the weeks up and get my money back. Its not that the game isn't worth $25, its that its not worth keeping if I can get 750(ish) gamer score out of it and put $25 more onto Assassins Creed Brotherhood.

In other "Old News" I finally broke down and finished off Red Dead Redemption. The ending of the narrative was a bit of a let down and while others said it was a surprise, I sorta saw it coming from the start. My only major gripe with the game, despite the ending, is that there is simply too much to do. Odd complaint huh? I had planned on finishing all the side stuff before completing the story but I just couldn't, even though I'm a self confessed achievement whore. I got up to level 6 or 7 on all the 4 "bonus" things to do but I just dont feel like going and killing 2 more bears with 1 shot, or picking 10 more plants where the cougars and bears roam. I didn't even realize how close I was to finishing the game until I ran the last 5 missions in 35 minutes, and most of that was riding my horse from one end of the map to the other.

One more thing about Red Dead before I go....I see they have an undead zombie expansion, and I hear its amazing. Maybe I'll find out next august (that's my running 9 months ago joke)

Waking up in Vegas

It's kind of shocking how much better Obsidian's Fallout 3 is than Bethesda's. Which is additionally shocking because Bethesda's F3 was one of the best games I've ever played. There's a line in there about Obsidian having an extra 2 years and all the successes / mistakes of F3 to build upon, but its not just the raw execution, its the actual design. New Vegas is not just Fallout 3 redux, its Fallout 3 revised. With all the Fallout 3 faults turned into something you can excuse or outright enjoy.

The catch, of course, is that Fallout: New Vegas is riddled with bugs, glitches, and other dumb nuances that serve no purpose but to remind you it's never safe to go more than 5 - 10 minutes without saving. Regardless, the pure character driven RPG genre is pretty starved these days, unless you're looking for something overly pretentious, overly complicated, or overly simplistic. F:NV's narrative and gameplay seem to land that sweet spot where despite the obvious room for improvement, you're perfectly happy with what you got.

I am, anyway.

Friday, July 30, 2010

You maniacs, you blew it up! (Crackdown 2)

If nothing else, Crackdown 2 speaks to the strength of the original Crackdown formula. Collecting orbs, Hulk-jumping rooftops, firing absurd ordinance, and generally acting like a wreckless super freak has never been funner. The problem is, every new decision Ruffian Games has made is shortsighted, ineffectual and in many cases outright dumb. You could probably say this is our fault for putting Crackdown 1's pedigree on such a shameless pedestal, but that'd be like blaming the weather man for predicting lightning would strike twice.

The open world formula has never been facilitative to a scripted narrative, and the original Crackdown took a beating for having almost none whatsoever. CD2 takes that failure to the next level by not only sidestepping narrative, but concealing what little back-story it has into 40 or so audio logs randomly strewn about the map. The only story you'll be spoon fed is the incessant orders from The Agency about murdering everything in sight and not asking questions. Near the end some rogue transmissions make it seem like maybe there's some sort of good / bad ending choice coming up, but it never pans out and the game always ends the same way. They did have the decency to tack on an ending cinematic, but its just a needless and unsatisfactory lead in to an unlikely sequel. And we all know, seeding your next effort is the best way to reward people for supporting your current effort.

Unfortunately, progressing through said non-existent narrative is an equally uninspired affair. Your virtually directionless objective is to eradicate the mindless zombie menace that plagues the city, and stop the terrorists who are getting in your way. It seems the only way Ruffian could come up with to present this act is with two of the industries worst gameplay mechanics; mob hunts and escort missions. Every one of the games "missions" involves running, climbing or falling into a static area of the city and then hunting down every enemy in the immediate area, protecting a target from every enemy in the immediate area, or worse, both. No real targets, no story, no planning, no stealth, no strategy. You do have a variety of guns, explosives and even melee options at your disposal, but you're not going to need any of it. Even at game start you're leagues ahead of your opposition in capability and long after you've come up with every way to abuse your enemies, the game will continue to throw them at you over and over again. As though that somehow justifies the general lack of content.

As an additional middle finger to people who bought the first game, the games map is virtually the same as before. Some buildings have been slightly changed in the ten years since the last game, none of it makes a huge amount of difference in play. No effort has been made to make the tedious process of window scaling skyscrapers any easier, and you will still frequently find yourself surrounded by concealed targets with crack shot rocket launcher aim. You may occasionally get a kick out of seeing a classic location slightly changed (the old car sales place is particularly amusing), but whether you've if you've already taken the super human tour in CD1 or not, there's really nothing interesting going on in Pacific City.

Now the tricky part here is that the entire experience, limited and shortsighted though it may be is not entirely unfun. Frequently, its exceedingly fun. Using your super cop powers to establish dominance is awesome, even moreso when accompanied by 2 or 3 other super cops via co-op. But its an awesome every Crackdown 1 player has already experienced, and this time there's no point or payoff to any of it. Without a story, bosses, or even creative locations to explore, there's no motivation to actually participate in the boring activities that make up the games "core" except to perform the extras along the way. Sure, you'll be powering up your agent the entire time, but not because you need them to beat the game, only because it will make life easier when you decide to hunt down all of the games extras.

Extras are of course are the main replay value in any sandbox game, but with Ruffian's poor understanding of what is actually fun it feels like this sandbox has no real toys in it just more chores. Remember those 800 orbs you had to collect in the last game? Now there's even more (the number of collectibles is up over 1000 all said and done), including some that run away from you when you get close to them, and some that are only available within close proximity to other online players. And that's on top of the timed races, the stunt markers, the car collecting, and everything else we already did in Crackdown 1 or Grand Theft Auto or Spider-Man or every other sandbox game. Its not that any of these activities are inherently bad, but there's just way too many of them and way too little motivation unless you have absolutely got to have that 1K on your gamercard.

Sadly, the whole game stinks of some "if it ain't broke don't fix it" logic, but its not like Crackdown 1 was perfect to begin with. Instead of fixing the first games issues and expanding on the gameplay, Ruffian has chosen to simply flip the record over and play it again, twice. Now I like B-sides just as much as the next guy, but mixing comfortable awesome with questionable decisions does very little but tarnish the integrity of the original especially when its so needlessly padded out to fill an entire game. There's no reason the content presented here couldn't have been done as an expansion pack or at least some sort of re-release that includes the original content. Crackdown 2 isn't so much bad as it is unneccessary and kind of insulting to the people whose wallets made it possible by supporting the first. In contrast to the original, CD2 is worthy of a rental at best.

-F.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Return of the Space Cowboy (The Force Unleashed II)



It pleases me immensely to know that The Secret Apprentice / Starkiller / Galen Marek will be (SPOILERS) returning to life (/OH NOES) for another go at Star Wars infamy. The bad news is he'll be doing it using a clone, but then cloning has been the defacto plot device for everything Star Wars for the better part of 10 years. Even before then, fan boys were masturbating over Palpatine, Thrawn and even Vader cloning theories to keep proper villainy in the series canon, but despite less than 10 minutes of film time to its credit, Kamino has practically become the single most important location in the film scope of that entire galaxy far far away.

Which is disappointing because according to all the people who get to make canon Star Wars decisions The Force Unleashed writers are up to snuff. The last time, they let Starkiller's little sojourn stand as its own episode within the otherwise movie only canon, and it worked perfectly. I would think the guys who functionally re-wrote the origins of the Rebellion could come up with something better than "Darth Vader made a clone and the clone went rogue". There's no reason he couldn't have simply barely survived the explosion with The Emperor, and it could've just taken an inordinate amount of time for him to recover or be recovered.

In a better world, they would come up with a story in-between the later movies, involving The Apprentice in some Shadows of the Empire style hijinx during the era of Star Wars history not horribly poisoned by the clone wars. Maybe they could explain how Boba Fett escaped the Sarlacc, or properly explain why Yoda chose to hide in a damned swamp instead of doing anything ever. In a perfect (or at least more awesome) world, they could have him be brought back after the rebellion succeeds, maybe enter into some conflict with Luke and the reborn republic. I know Lucas lacks the balls to actually write his own story, but DLC has already pit The Apprentice against the likes of Ben Kenobi and even Luke Skywalker in simulators and side stories, so why not?

I see in my head a fantastic story where Luke comes across this half-dead relic of the force being kept alive in some secret stasis chamber. Why did Vader keep him? What has he since done to him? Did Palpatine even know? Starkiller's upbringing by Vader is almost like the father-son bond Luke himself never had, while his betrayal and quest for vengeance mirror Luke's own internal struggle with the Dark Lord. Does he rescue and revive The Apprentice, who from a certain point of view, could be called Luke's half brother? And maybe The Apprentice doesn't want to live in a world where Juno Eclipse is long dead, and Luke Skywalker is the leader, if not symbol of a rebellion he started. A rebellion that bears his own family crest.

Both characters are so similar, and they could play so well off one another in a well tempered drama. With Leia doing the family thing with Han, Luke is alone with the weight of being the sole Jedi in the galaxy. Would he reach out to Galen? Would Galen's brutality and "unleashed" mastery over the force turn him off? And who could dare oppose them? What would Leia think of the sudden resurrection of this mysterious figure from her past?

I see a game where you play both of them, enemies at first and then allies, until it finally comes to a head and you have to decide which of them will guide the direction of the Republic and the new Jedi Order. Clearly The Apprentice loses, but does he die? Does he sacrifice himself? Does Luke kill him? There's just so much gold to be mined in this potential property. Its a shame I'm just spit balling here.

Instead, TFUII will be a fairly good game full of dual lightsaber battles and over the top force powers, but unfortunately we already know the story. TFU1 had a nice neat ending for a midquel. Sure, The Apprentice had to die to keep from disrupting canon, but he does so for a meaningful reason. His role in the past is done. Now we have a clone waking up and doing everything he did again. Rebelling, growing more powerful, and then vanishing into obscurity to maintain the canon. Maybe they craft a decent love story throughout, but at this point Juno's 10 years older than him, and he's been "dead" all that time. Is she just going to be that happy to see him? Is he going to kick the shit out of Vader and Palpatine again? Is he just going to "die" again in the end? /sigh. What a waste.

Still, I don't want that rant to come across at tarnishing my horrible excitement for the game, just a general disappointment in its plot. Maybe they'll impress me. I am currently experiencing similar regret over the Mortal Kombat franchises latest iteration, it too being a retread of material already covered, but that doesn't mean I'm not fired up to play it. A good story "helps" a game, but it doesn't "make" a game, and if the guys at LucasArts fix the few problems the first had, I don't care if they want to turn Galen into an Gungan and have the entire game take place in generic deserts fighting sand people so long as I get to lightsaber, lightning, and light . . uh, shove my enemies into oblivion. And the rumor mill says they're gonna get dismemberment going? Count me in.

-F.

I'm on a horse.

It's not Grand Theft Auto on a horse, I'm so tired of hearing that as the description for Red Dead Redemption. Now I can freely admit that this game is in no way a sequel to Red Dead Revolver other then in name and the fact its in the "wild west"; Red is no where to be found. This game is a very plot driven narrative and is as much story as it is game play. It's sooooo much more then a wild west GTA.

The characters in this title are multi-dimensional and very interesting. As you complete mission branches for them, their back story and reasons for doing what they do gets fleshed out. Even the sub-character side stories (not random "stop the horse thief" type ones) actually make you want to go out of your way to see what happens. I'm about 11 hours in, crossed the border to Mexico and the story just gets better and better...... It probably wont take you 12 hours to get this far, but I get distracted hunting animals and selling their meat and hides for profit.

We all know the story is useless if the game play makes you quit trying. Thankfully the controls are tight, the aiming is spot on, and bullet time errrr..... dead eye mode makes getting out of a jam that much easier. Riding a horse has never been this easy, but unfortunately you cant ride them backwards. My only minor gripe is sometimes the horses and the clifs dont get along well. I've gotten stuck and I have had my horse walk over an edge and land in the bottom of a canyon. I survived then skinned the dead horse for his hide and meat before pressing up on the D-pad to get a new one.

Lastly Achievements. I am a former Gamer Score whore, I used to totally flex my E-Peen but it just doesnt mean that much to me anymore. Yeah having a high score was neat, but playing hundred of hours of lame beach volleyball and gift buying in DOAXBV2 wasnt worth the 1k. Much to my relief, the achievements and rewards in RDR are spot on. Theres a mix of single player story , gun usage (X amount of kills per gun), mini games (toss a ringer in horseshoes), multiplayers ones, and a viral one just for good measure. Theres 5 avatar clothing unlocks to boot (2 men, 2 women, and 1 unisex item)

Apparently theres some multiplayer DLC coming soon, in the mean time I've gotta go hogtie a woman and put her on the train tracks for 5 gamer points.

~Malenko