PSN vs XBOX Live!

No, no, no, its not that kind of post, this actually has NOTHING to do with online multiplayer. This is my shout out to the masses , to air my complaints about the PSN. I, for once, have some extra cheddar in my pocket and I figured I've thrown so much money at Microsoft and none at Sony that its time to give the PSN a shot. So I power up, sign in , and start browsing.

I go through some of the newer games, but I see theres only a text description; so I back track and go to some games put up a few months ago......same thing. Just to be sure I wasnt completely "dense and retarded" I went into the PSOne classics section, still just text descriptions. Granted there is box art for the various titles but thats it, no screen shots, no trailers, not even a link to a demo (thats in a separate section.) Now if Sony can rip off the Achievement system with trophies, can't they at least steal some ideas from the market place?

Now don't get me wrong, the actual layout of the PSN Marketplace is *MUCH* better then the one on live! but when you get to a game on the live marketplace there are links to download the full version, download the demo, screen shots, down load additional content, and when available trailers! The one thing I love other then the basic layout of the PSN is things cost $4.99 not 400 "points" The Wii uses points as well, but points are a penny a piece so its forgivable.

So After 45 minutes of going through the PSN store, finding a name and description that didnt seem toooooooo stupid, I'd go to google and IGN and look up some info, and move on. And after 45 minutes was up , I decided to write this in leui of buying aything.

For the few of you out there who havent seen both, here are some pix, I picked Iron Man because I watched the movie again the other day and I knew it was on both systems. Please note Iron man DOES NOT SHOW UP IN THE GAME LIST ON PSN, ONLY THE DEMO SECTION /screaming.




So which one looks like it provides more content and info for the selected game?

Also, despite my recent PS3 game play time Sony says I still have ZERO trophies /wrists

~Malenko aka LLiNRAC

Games I might actually buy

I figured on this, the eve of my first video game purchase of the year, I would take a look at what games have actually earned the right to my 60 dollars a pop, and why. This way, at the end of the year I can look back and reflect on what I actually thought I wanted to play, and what I did. You see, for the longest time (all my life) I've been a horrible hoarder of video games, burning countless dollars on games I only enjoyed for a week, a month, and in some cases not at all. About 6 months ago a friend of mine turned me on to Gamefly, and I've never looked back. Post Gamefly subscription, I've bought only 4 games, Bionic Commando, Batman, Tekken, and something else I'm not remembering. Point is, in the 2k10 the increasingly crooked publishers are gonna have to earn my $60 so lets see whose already won my heart.

We can start with the sure things, which are mostly sequels to games that have earned a place in my heart, in order of awesome.
Bioshock 2 - Undoubtedly purchased tomorrow, Bioshock 1 was hands down one of the greatest shooters I've ever played. The new one promises a continued single plot in a setting I love and multiplayer with a plot and advancement options. That is not to say they couldn't blow it spectacularly, but if they don't? Whoo wee.

Batman Arkham Asylum 2 - If it wasn't the best game of last year, Batman certainly was the most suprisingly good game of last year. Why? Well, because batman games suck. Superhero games suck. Somehow Batman Arkham Asylum was a good game, and it was a good batman game, and it had replay value, and it was by a relative unknown. Seriously, Rocksteady could make a game about ponies and I would give it a shot. I still play Arkham 1 to this day, their next trip back to the nut house is a sure buy.

Fallout: New Vegas - Like Arkham, the Fallout followup gets a bye. Not so much because Fallout 3 was so just that awesome (even though it was), I am just a titantic Fallout fanboy. As long as they don't do anything cripplingly stupid with the premise, this is a guaranteed win.

Crackdown 2 - The legends say Crackdown 1 got a raw deal because it got packaged with the Halo 3 multiplayer demo, but I came to the Xbox 360 party late and hate Halo, so all I know is that Crackdown is a horribly shortsighted and awesome game. Even with a new and unproved development studio, more orb hunting, and a stupid mutant zombie plot, CD2 promises more super powered roof top hijinx, structured missions, and four player co-op. What could possibly go wrong?

Dead Rising 2 - Crackdown 2 and Dead Rising 2 are pretty much in the same boat, each were early exclusives in the 360's life, each one presented some new concepts that turned sandbox gaming on its ass, and each one is getting a sequel shoved out this year from a new staff. The difference is, Crackdown had almost nothing but room for improvement, Dead Rising however has a lot more to lose. Its almost guaranteed they are going to "fix" the save mechanic because current generation gamers just can't handle it, and the multiplayer is certainly not going in the direction I'd like it to, but they're promising weapon combination on the fly like motorcycles mounted with chainsaws, so there's going to be some gold to be mined for sure.

And in the runner up category;

Alan Wake - This game looks like everything Alone in the Dark wanted to be, which would be a pretty fantastic deal if they got it right. I'm a sucker for cerebral games, brain over brawn and all that. But the track record is not good. Not since the death of Sierra.

Split Second - Every once in a while a racing game comes along that isn't exactly the same as every other racing game out there. Split Second may be the one. Or it may be as boring as the later burnouts. We'll see.

-F.

"Trouble In Your Digital World?" The No More Heroes 2 Review

About 4 hours into No More Heroes 2, one realizes that this is more than a game, it's a parody of gaming itself. It's not quite as blatant as last summer's Matt Hazard game, but it's there, and it's hilarious.

Again, the player is thrust into the persona of Travis Touchdown, former reigning champion of the United Assassins' Association and resident of Santa Destroy California. However, it's three years later, Travis has lost his rank, and his best friend from the first game and he's ready to do some killing.

The game plays like the original. The player tilts the remote up or down for either high or low attacks. The A button is then pressed to swing the beam katana. This is nice because the player is not left swinging the Wii remote around the with reckless abandon, breaking furniture and maiming spouses. The B button kicks and initiates grappling moves. The analog stick on the nunchuck guides Travis and the Z button locks on to enemies. It's easily the smoothest, most accurately controlled game for Wii.

There are some fundamental difference between NMH 1 and 2. The driving segments are gone now, replaced with a might handy map that lets Travis skip to places of interest. This works very well, as the actual driving in the first one never really contributed to the plot (except for a few key missions) and just took time away from fighting. The job missions are back, but this time, they're all played as 8-bit video games. (The sound of Travis blowing into a cartridge can be heard before Travis starts one of these missions). As you climb the ladder of the U.A.A. again, this time you can be challenged from below. This brings a really interesting dynamic to the game. In the first of these fights, you face off against a school girl who has a crush on Travis. I don't want to give too much away, but it involved deadly bubbles, a two sided beam katana that shoots out of a recorder, and some really really really bad poetry. Needless to say, while making the plot slightly more serious, the game still keeps its sense of humor in tact.

The video game parodies itself and the genre constantly. Aside from the 8-bit mini games, giant chainsaw wielding guys ask "Trouble in your digital world?" sympathetically before taking a big swing at Travis. Travis himself can play a video game on his TV called Bizarre Jerry 5 where scantily dressed anime girls shoot at aliens 1942 style. There's an intro movie for Bizarre Jerry that intentionally makes no sense whatsoever, and by doing this delivers a lot of laughs. In his first interaction with Sylvia (his "love" interest from the first game), Travis and she argue about plot and continuity. Travis of course wants the audience to know what's gone on over the last three years, while Sylvia maintains that most of the audience is playing this as a stand alone game and could care less about what happened in the first game. One thing is certain though, in the three years since NMH 1, Travis's cat Jeanne has gotten fat. Morbidly obese fat. There are a series of mini games that help the cat exercise and lose weight. Could this be a dig at the Wii fit?

No More Heroes 2 does comedy well but also, strangely enough, walks the tightrope into dramatic territory. Moody cinematics of Sylvia explaining the plot between missions set a great tone for game. The music in these scenes recall shades of Angelo Badalamenti's dark score from the old TV show Twin Peaks. Travis conveys his feelings of loss in a quote the both sums up his dark emotions and the silliness of the whole affair: "Everyone deals with grief differently, Some people fuck at funerals, I cut heads off."

First Impressions: Bayonetta

So, it stands to reason that Hideki Kamiya (the father of Devil May Cry) saw what Capcom did with Devil May Cry 4 (or any of them since the original, if you think about it) and decided he knew what was best for that style of game. Lots of people have tried to "fix" dmc before. More weapons, higher combo counts, bigger monsters, you name it. Bayonetta, at first glance anyway, matches all those bets and raises them one gigantic dose of sex appeal.

You see, in the few hours I've had with the game I have pummelled scores of enemies with fists and feet, blasted them apart with pistols and shotguns (somehow) attached to my appendages and even summoned gigantic hair-dog demons to do my bidding but despite the spectacle of it all, it all feels very secondary to the sexy. Cinematically she subdues enemies with leg locked face rides, boob grazes, and spread eagle gunshots, then in gameplay she gets more naked with each combo hit, the final blow often delivered entirely in the nude. She switches her heels with every flick of the analog stick, blows seductive kisses at magical barriers, and kicks her foes right in the balls before strapping them into gigantic iron maidens and guillotines. And that's just within the first three missions.

I'm not some catholic prude or asexual misanthrope who will never know a woman's touch. I've long awaited the day my many perversions and my long term hobby would join forces against the boredom monster (See: Onechanbara), but Bayonetta just goes about it all wrong. Its one thing to just slap an unrealistic set of assets on your heroine (every female lead since Lara Croft), or throw misguided innuendo into an otherwise unrelated affair (GoW, GTA), or even try to pass off a shoddy half developed game as a sexual experience (rrxx, doax), those things are fairly typical these days. Yet no matter how good I feel about tearing bosses in two, finding well hidden secrets, and unleashing new combo strats in Bayonetta, I have to roll my eyes while she strokes her guns across her face, or makes some glib remark about enemies wanting to touch her.

Maybe this would work a lot better if Bayonetta herself didn't look so unattractively ridiculous, even better if there was a plot / premise reason to her acting like a hardass one second and a hoebag the next. Like, if there's a flashback coming up that just says she had to spend the dark ages casting spells on gentlemen in whorehouses, or that being sexy somehow gives her power I'll be fine, but she's decended from a coven of witches who dressed in nothing but habits and hung out in hidden temples. Every other character in the game is conservative and straight laced (to a point), even her evil twin rival sister whatever character (who happens to be a tall leggy blonde), so why is Bayonetta all throwing off her clothes and firing guns between her legs all the time? Is it because she's the ugly sister? Did daddy like her best? So frustrating.

Still, I can't argue gameplay wise that its a perfectly valid member of the DMC wannabe family and its clear Kamiya has a better understanding of it's genetic make up than most. Last night I unlocked a totally unexpected katana to bolster the already over-abundant array of killing techniques, and with all the question marks and things left to kill, it seems like the game is just chock full of content. I just wish I didn't have to wade through so much ineffective sexuality to get to it.

-F.

God Of War III The Demo

Last night I got my hands on the God Of War III demo for the PS3. Here's a quick rundown of what happens in it.

It opens with the familiar GoW title screen: a close up of Kratos's face looking angry as ever. If the title screen sits for a while, he'll bare his teeth and growl. Kratos does not appreciate waiting to kill. There's only one option on the screen: Start Demo.

So I press start and immediately Kratos fighting 5 guys at once. Of course, they're not very tough. The first new move noticed is Kratos's battering ram move. He can pick up an enemy and run him into all of the other ones. I'd be lying if i told you it wasn't extremely fun.

Then it's on to platforming. Kratos can now grab a harpy and have it fly him over to distant platforms. Kratos tips the harpy by stabbing it about five times during the trip. Yikes. After that We get treated to another great outside fight scene with a giant character destroying a city a la God Of War I. Instead of Ares, this time it's a titan that may be Atlas from GoW II. He's getting hassled by Helios, the sun god, and his flaming chariot. Before he can be helped, Kratos has to take out some more sword wielding bad guys and a centaur. No problem.

Kratos runs up the ramp to help Atlas, but there's another problem, the first new villain we get to see from God Of War III: The Chimera. This monster has the body of a lion with goat head above the lion's head, and a snake for a tail. Oh, and if combining three vicious animals (yes goats are vicious, anyone who's been to a petting and is unfortunate enough to be holding feed in the vicinity of one knows this) isn't enough, the Chimera blows fire. The monster is about as big as a standard minotaur from the GoW series. This fight is split in to three segments. First the snake is cut off. Then the Lion's body is stabbed in the chest. After that, Kratos rips off a horn and stabs it through the head. If anything, Kratos is thorough.

After this, Kratos shoots Helios with a nearby harpoon gun. The titan catches him and crushes him. I was a bit disappointed that I didn't get fight Helios, but oh well. Kratos then catches a ride on a harpy and beats up some more low level thugs. He then runs through a building and kills more goons. (This is where the battering ram is formally introduced). There's also some more ledge hanging and creeping. Kratos can speed a long ledges by moving the right analog stick in the same direction as the left. That's very helpful actually. We pass a guy who laments about his lost possessions. He'd probably lament about his crushed skull too, but Kratos throws him off the side of his house very quickly. That's just the way Kratos takes care of business.

After this Kratos lands on a veranda with a very very beat up Helios on the ground. Consider my earlier disappointment gone.

It's not going to be simple though. A group of guys with shields and spears surround Helios. Think 300. And then some sword guys and a Cyclops drop in for a big fight. The cyclops is subdued much easier than expected. Then Kratos gets to ride around him and crush the remaining swordsmen and the shield dome over Helios. The sun god is now prone. Kratos walks over which initiates a mini game that starts with a neck snapping, keeps the pace steady with some head pounding and ends with Helios's head being messily liberated from his shoulders.

This leads to the first new tool in Kratos's God of War III arsenal: The Helios Head. It shines like the Medusa head, but instead of turning enemies into stone, it reveals secret hidden doors. To use the head, the player has to push L2 and R1 at the same, an odd button combination, but I imagine I'll get used to it. Helios's head immediately reveals a hidden door. After going through the door there's a vent of air that uses the Icarus wings from GoW II. Kratos then flies through a maze wood framing avoiding fireballs. It's intense. Even more intense is the way the demo ends.

Once Kratos gets to the top of the vent, we see Atlas again. But Kratos lunges at him like he's about to attack. The screen then goes black. Has Kratos turned on the Titans? Has he struck a secret deal with the Olympians? Or, in typical Kratos fashion, is he just going to kill everyone?

I'm betting on the last option.

Mass Effect

For a change I'm behind the times. With everyone I know wholeheartedly GUSHING about Mass Effect 2, I figured it was time to pick up the original. I can say I am pleasantly surprised so far. I'm only about 90 minutes in but the story has me hooked; not a single cliche` to be found (except maybe that the humans are a blight on the galaxy).

I'm not mad that I only have 1 achievement unlocked either, and I like the game so much I haven't bothered looking at the entire cheevie list. Speaking of, this game better be pretty fucking epic to expect not one, not two, but THREE play-throughs in order to unlock the full 1k, and there better be a new game+ option because you start off pretty crappy at shooting for a marine.

Keeping with the WAY BACK theme, I finally put some hours into Need For Speed: Most Wanted. I am a self admitted gamer score whore and I plan to 1k all the "Need for Speeds", since for some ungodly reason, I have them all. To be honest I don't think its entirely possible, because a few of them require participation in EA's "community race days" so I may have to settle for the high 8 or 9 hundred on those.

Project Need For Speed:
Most Wanted: 9/15 = 165/1000
Carbon 2/50 = 25/1000
Undercover 7/50 = 80/1000
Pro Street 40/50 = 865/1000
Shift: 8/29 = 325/1000

Gamer tag? LLiNRAC

Gamefly + Anxiety = Gamefliety

There's always an akward anxiety for me in between gamefly games. The excitement of playing something new, the worry that it will suck, the fear that some titanic mail screw up will leave me liable for money. The last few games its been particularly brutal as things have seemed to take a little longer than when I first signed up, but how much of that can be laid on the holiday season or my natural impatience is open for debate. Either way, I'm in the lull right now, and that means frequently, often compulsively, I'll log onto gamefly.com and shuffle around a few titles in my queue like i can somehow predict when the mail will get there or what will be "now available" when that happens. Its maddening. Right now it says I have a shot at Borderlands, but failing that I fall nearly 10 games down my queue to Condemned or Rise of the Argonauts. I'm not really in the mood for a garbage game, but there's really no way to guarantee the gamefly game selection machine won't send one along short of taking all the garbage out of my queue and waiting even longer. And how do I feel about waiting longer? Well, see this entire paragraph.

I suppose its just. I'm sure there was some poor soul going through the same rigamarole during the three or four months Prototype sat patiently on my stack of games while I played through Batman and god knows what else. The solution is of course is to upgrade my account to allow more games at a time. A two game rotation would guarantee I always had something not mine to play, but that would also guarantee I had more games lying around my house not being played, which is the habit I'd hoped to skewer in joining gamefly in the first place.

Last time I had a break like this I had Shadow Complex. A gem of a game that turned out to be less of a Super Metroid homage and more of Super Metroid itself, not that there's anything wrong such a thing. Complex's only sin is that it vainly assumes bgm is optional, a demonic trend in gaming I wish I could exorcise. I will agree there are a few situations if not entire genres where the concept of ambient noise as music is passable, but it certainly isn't the 2d adventure genre. Imagine what a game like SOTN, or, in this case Super Metroid would be like without that rich soundtrack lighting the way for you. Kind of loses something, doesn't it? Thankfully, the xbox / zune tag team is adequately equipped to custom soundtrack any game with such an affliction, but that's a crutch not a feature.

This time around I have Mass Effect, which I will freely admit I am finally getting around to soley because of all the ME2 hysteria. Not that I'm much for the gaming "scene" anymore, I just don't want to be so far out of date when people start talking ME3. Nothing against ME of course, I've heard how good it is, first hand from trusted sources in fact. I'm just tired to death of RPGs. RPGs require a mental and often physical commitment I just can't make, not without dragging it out over 100 hours. I don't think there's a script in the world that I could feel good about 100 hours of digestion later. We shall say. Mass Effect makes the bold claim that it is worth not two but THREE playthroughs with its achievements, each time with increasing difficulty. I'm certainly not going to even try, but their hubris says a lot about how good my initial play through oughta be.

In closing, the more I listen to the Afro Samurai Soundtrack, the more I want to say about it. Find a way to defend it, maybe. Sadly, I can't. It's really a bad game. If I had anything interesting to say on the subject, it would be to somehow explain how I can play through Afro twice in pursuit of a 1k, but couldn't even do Mirror's Edge once. Puzzling moreso that when I tried Mirror's Edge, not only was my social circle's gamerscore competition much tighter, I even had a friend who stuck through it for 700 or so points. Maybe I was just in the wrong mood at the time for a crappy game. It was pre baby, and pre a lot of other personal life stresses, so maybe I just had a more discerning mood for what I did with my evenings. Now, burning the 1-2 hours on a crummy game seems perfectly acceptable, the exhaustion of the other 22 somehow numbing the crap.